Memorandum:
I am starting a new religious sector and political party called the Christian Royalist.
Continue with your Christian Faith as usual, just add the following:
1. Jesus is the King of all Kings (of course), however I am the Princess, The Sandralee.
2. It is against my (our) religion to pay unauthorized taxes (as The Sandralee sees fit, nothing more than 30% flat board taxes), and it is against our religion to have the current Commanding Useless Resident in as Chief. As of today, May 22, 2010, you and I shall declare me, The Sandralee as my/your highness, Princess of the Independent Republic States of America. You can just call me Madam President Princess and/or The Sandralee.
3. You are now my Republican Guards(wo)men. Your Second Amendment Right is your permit to carry any fire arms of your choice.
4. Nothing else really changes...The Constitution is and will be the law once again. It is restored.
5. Obama, Pelosi, Reid, Frank, etc. etc. etc. will finally get their Miranda Rights they so desperately wanted. It will be aired on Nation Television, Youtube, etc. Alongside with their trial and reality show called, "Me and Bubba." The female version will be named, "Me and Bertha." A special edition of this will be called, "Blink'itie Blink Pelosi and Sticky Brooms." That one will be aired on C-Span.
6. I will only be Madam President Princess until the special elections are held on July 04, 2012. This historic voting session will be held to replace any and all elected officials currently seated. I will reside as a (some what of a) dictator until your brand spanking new officials are in place.
7. Google will be in charge of the Public Information Act from hereon. With exception to Military Records.
8. I will take over (steal) Facebook and their Rights. Your Freedom of Speech is now welcome without punishment.
9. I am cleaning out the jails. They will be going to boot camp and to the Middle East shortly after I have Nuked those countries (plagues) off of the map. Operation Parking Lot needs very little money since we have slave labor. Consider Israel to be our felons Correction Officers next door. No worries, they'll behave now that I have unleashed Israel's Military onto the world.
10. The United Nations does not exist but they do glow. I've nuked them.
11. My Face will not be on Mt. Rushmore. It will be on the Statue of Liberty after I have painted her pink with glitter.
12. NYC's sky line will be replaced. The Twin Towers will twinkle again. (I may put some glitter on them too.)
13. Michael Moore will be serving you at the McDonald's Drive Thru Window. I've fined him, took all his money, declared him insane; further more, I've ordered McDonald's to hire one more mentally challenged person.
14. You will show me and my Republican Guards(wo)men your papers $itch.
15. ICE, ICE baby... vanilla ICE ICE baby for illegal aliens on the airplane ride to Afghanistan baby. Cross the border, and find yourself on a one way ride to hell.
16. Jigga' What...Jigga' Who...Jay-Z will provide a Rap version of our anthem. Beyonce will sing the hook and Lady Gaga will star in the music video.
17. Healthcare will be free. I've nuked China, took their money and tea. We'll spend whatever we want. We own everything. I'm printing paper because there is no Euro let alone Yin Yang Dollars man.
18. Terrorist don't exist anymore. They are being chased around by Pedophiles in GITMO on the moon. The suicide bombers will be providing our fire work display July 04, 2012. I've snuck in some C-4 and all the IED's a Mohammad can dream of.
19. Oprah Winfrey is broke. She is funding Social Security now. Problem solved.
20. I've nuked Vietnam. We won. Advise Texas Text Book providers.
21. Sarah Palin is the Governor of Russia now. Capitalism and Reagan dreams restored. They were the official "57th" state of our union after invasion. In honor of Obama, I've renamed Moscow to Oboscow for lucky number 57.
22. Oil is free and Al Gore is promoting the use of it in the next public service announcement from Antarctica.
23. My job and plan is done. Leave me be to play Scrabble.
